Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
