If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.