So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world