just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
