What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
