If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
