So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
