I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
