I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
