Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
