Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
