and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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