i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
