On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Barsexuality is the new black.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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