Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
