i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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