My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
