Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
