Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

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  (816): i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants http://tfl.nu/4te8
  Replies (6) Good night (1966) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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  (209): it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits http://tfl.nu/hc25
  Replies (22) Good night (1003) Bad night (7180) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.

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  (802): you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv. http://tfl.nu/a1rt
  Replies (15) Good night (5465) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

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  (480): YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST (602): I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise! http://tfl.nu/2ck7
  Replies (36) Good night (6816) Bad night (822)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.

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  (604): Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit. http://tfl.nu/890j
  Replies (48) Good night (2669) Bad night (9366) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  grab my backpack.....its in the fridge

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  (973): grab my backpack.....its in the fridge http://tfl.nu/prjt
  Replies (19) Good night (7745) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...

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  (519): like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar... http://tfl.nu/2jmm
  Replies (10) Good night (2337) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl

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  (703): I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl http://tfl.nu/f1pk
  Replies (7) Good night (1114) Bad night (1994) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.

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  (506): yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her. http://tfl.nu/588d
  Replies (7) Good night (2875) Bad night (1060) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?

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  (908): do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants? http://tfl.nu/rdvq
  Replies (9) Good night (2685) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

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  (480): Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face. http://tfl.nu/gk53
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (2180) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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  (360): This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made. http://tfl.nu/7tve
  Replies (5) Good night (1496) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning

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  (416): I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning http://tfl.nu/fy90
  Replies (10) Good night (548) Bad night (1048) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.

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  (770): You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL. http://tfl.nu/941m
  Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (403)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.

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  (608): You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out. http://tfl.nu/pyc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt

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