theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.