Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.