I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better