Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
