I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
