I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
