So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
