Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
