oh fat girl friday strikes again...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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