could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
