So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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