I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
