you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
