Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
