and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
