I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize