im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
