covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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