I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You are a genius and a whore.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize