i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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