forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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