LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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