My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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