i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
