there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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