We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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