Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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