So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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