Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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