did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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