He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
