I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
