I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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