There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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