His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
