WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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