I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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