maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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