i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
