The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
