The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
