Kiss
Puke
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
