it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
